Zabeth Firestone: Firebird

It hadn't taken long for Zabeth to get used to all the now-empty rooms in its sprawling suite. Chicks came and went, all through its long life, and now things were on the "went" side.

Ceremeth, Ziar, Wisumoth, and Hukiloseth: all absent, moved out for good, gone out into the world to return only for visits and the occasional dinner. Peta-mari used her room only for sleeping-- and often-times not even that-- and her residence only for free meals; she even had a job, now. Ielta, with Thidade for company, had finally rediscovered the ability to sleep in her own room, letting her niece rather than her guardian keep the waking nightmares at bay. Zamah-aisi was her usual, cagey, independent self, making her presence known mostly to tease and observe, often out to watch the effects of her pranks on the unsuspecting populace as she already knew her housemates too well to take full enjoyment from their reactions.

All in all, they were grown and growing up, becoming their own people rather than Zabeth's chicks. They didn't need Zabeth's aid, guidance, or even opinions anymore. They could look after themselves just fine, now, even Ielta, who was the one who professed to need the most looking after. She did most things for herself, now, and only needed the occasional coaching with the more difficult aspects of living, and the security of a house she didn't yet have to pay for. Zamah-aisi didn't need anything; Zabeth suspected she only still lived in the suite out of habit. For the most part, Zabeth was left alone to its studies.

It was almost like being alone again.

Zabeth was often alone over the course of its long life, so it was used to the sensation and took no trouble from it. Still, it was rarely alone for long, for it always found colleagues, wards, enemies, friends, even sometime mates among the populace it studied. Sometimes it had spent a whole lifetime on one world, for the sake of someone it met there, though usually it left after fond-- and sometimes not so fond-- farewells, with the promise to visit at least once before the end of the other's lifespan. This expedition was no different, though it had few colleagues and an excess of wards. It had thought hard on what it would be doing, this time, and expected that it would leave its nest behind, for Ielta and Thidade, and Zamah-aisi if she still wished it, to live in and have families, if they deigned to.

Those thoughts were coming more and more often, now. After nearly twenty years of studying, researching, and observing the dragon-bonding phenomenon, Zabeth was almost finished. There was very little, now, that it did not know about dragons of various types, sponsoring and raising them, the different niches they filled, particularly at the more advanced places like Star City. It expected it could have taught a class on the subject, and had, in fact, sat in on various "new dragoner" classes that the space station had to offer, one set for each of its own official sponsors.

All that was really left, now, was bonding, itself. Zabeth had made a study of this, as well: interviewing bonded pairs, investigating reasons people and dragons had for bonding, studying the biological, magical, and mental requirements, components, and imperatives of bonding. The only thing it hadn't done was go through the experience, itself.

And though that gnawed at Zabeth's thorough nature, it still held back. Its knowledge would not be complete without personal experience-- even those it had discussed the procedure with and those who were bonded, themselves, said so-- it knew that. But it was immortal, had lived for millennia and expected to live for millennia more, until it decided it tired of life and wished to see what lay beyond it. That point, it expected, was very far away. Very few other creatures could boast the same-- what would happen to Zabeth, itself, when its bond died?

Zabeth had lost to death before. How could it not have? It was impossible to go through life without making attachments, and Zabeth had long since given up on trying. It had also long since gotten used to losing. Occasionally, when it was feeling particularly nostalgic-- or maudlin, and usually after indulging in something intoxicating-- it might call the spirit of a particularly missed loved one and have a long chat, for old times' sake, but on the whole, it was content to let the dead be dead. There were always new friends and new loves to replace the old.

But, in all that time, it had never made as strong or permanent a connection as the bonding it was investigating. In its investigations, it also looked into what happened when one half of a bonded pair died. The remaining partner usually wound up damaged, if not dead. A number who remained alive after the death of their bond had been heard to wish they hadn't. Zabeth wasn't sure if it was willing to risk an inevitable pain like that, much less the premature end of an extremely long life, even if it was in the name of knowledge.

But at the same time, it couldn't help but admit curiosity. After so long studying the bonding process, results, and effects, the thought of experiencing it-- and damn the consequences-- was tempting. If the match was good-- and it usually was-- the new pairs were happy, and spoke highly of their experience. There was the risk that the match might not be a good one, of course, but there was risk involved in everything. Most creatures did not even have Zabeth's advantage of agelessness, and would be stuck with a poor match for the rest of their lives; Zabeth could spare a lifetime or two if the bonding went poorly, and then probably be more relieved than grieved. And still, that was for a minority of cases, and often a result of poor communication or one bondmate not knowing just what he or she was getting into. Zabeth had neither of those afflictions.

And, of course, there was still intellectual curiosity, the desire to see what it was like just to see what it was like, to complete its study and call that branch of its research complete.

So it waited. Zabeth had plenty of time, after all, and waiting a little longer didn't bother it. Currently at the midway point between summer and winter, male and female, the distracters of neither gender bothered it, and it could weigh things with as careful a mind as it ever could. Or, when frustration grew too great, it could find another intellectual pursuit to keep it occupied, or even seek out company. There were a few on the station who had no problems with Zabeth, no matter what stage in its annual cycle it was at.

At the moment, Zabeth was near the point where it needed company, and perhaps another opinion. It felt that it had exhausted its own reasoning on the matter of a bond, and needed some kind of outside input in order to continue the internal debate.

And the first person it found was Zamah-aisi.

::Hello, Zabeth! What shall I call you today? He or she?::

"Neither is particularly apt," Zabeth commented dryly, fluttering up to on the other side of the wide dragon-sized couch.

::I heard that some people call hermaphrodites "shi". We could call you shi!::

For someone who wasn't bothered by a lack of gender, Zamah-aisi was always trying to find some way to address her guardian other than "it" during the autumn and spring. "I'd rather not, really. Just use my name."

::How boring. So what are you doing out of your hidey-hole? Tired of staring at the holo-screen?::

"I could ask the same of you, being in the apartment. Tired of causing mayhem?"

::I've done enough for the afternoon,:: Zamah replied cheerfully. ::Thought I'd lay low until things died down, you know?::

"Yes," Zabeth chuckled.

::So what are you on, now? Still debating the bonding thing?::

"Still...."

::You know, I had a thought about that.::

Zabeth snapped its beak curiously at her. "Yes?"

::Bond something immortal! Doesn't that solve your biggest problem? The whole... bond-dying-thing.::

It blinked at her. "Well, that is an idea, but I have not seen very many immortal creatures who wish bonding and who aren't the candidates...."

::Well, you haven't really been looking, either. You haven't really gone out and catalogued every species out there, have you?::

"No, not really... though that would exacerbate the fact that, if a bonding takes place, I will be trapped in it if it is a poor match."

Zamah-aisi flicked her tail negligently. ::No happiness without risk, right? And maybe you could, like, get to know whoever you'd be bonding, first. Some places let you do that.::

"Ah, but will that be the same type of place as which caters to immortals?"

::I'd hope so-- I mean, why would an immortal want to be stuck with a stranger forever?::

It did make a sort of sense. Zabeth pondered a moment, while Zamah-aisi gave it a very smug look. "I believe," Zabeth finally said, "that I will make a search of the various bonding agencies in the Nexus."

::You do that,:: Zamah chirped mentally, waving a paw at her as it glided down and made for its study again. ::Good luck!::