Evoli sat cross-legged, human-bodied, on the floor, staring anxiously at the benign, unactivated portal. He had a bulging backpack beside him, full of food, money, blankets, and, most important of all, books. If he did what he was thinking of doing, he would need all of them and more. In his hands, turning it over and over, he held a stone pendant, inscribed with a pentagram and bespelled to activate portals. His parents had bought it for him just a week ago, for this specific purpose. To travel away from all he had ever known, and into something that might be very good, but might be very bad.

The portal-guard had politely turned away, so as not to watch the dragon-boy at his thoughts. The older dragon, Tredegar, was a burley but friendly Fire set to this rather simple duty because he was older, pushing three hundred, and getting vaguely arthritic, making actual battle difficult despite his experience and magical power. Guarding and powering a portal, however, was a fine job for a retired warrior, if a bit dull, according to Tredegar. Since Evoli had come here at least once a day for the past week, they had engaged in several conversations. Even Tregedar seemed to support his supposedly not-yet-made decision.

But if he hadn't decided, why was he here, with all the things he would need for a two or three day stint in the wilderness? Why did he keep thinking about what might happen, if he hadn't already chosen to go and just hadn't actually admitted it to himself yet? Probably because he always liked to think about all the options, weigh each one and guess what might come of it-- though in this case, most of the "options" he'd thought about seemed to begin with the decision he had supposedly not made yet.

Evoli supposed it had been something of a final straw, as it were, when his parents had given him the pent'ed pendant. It was a pretty thing, if you liked jewelry, but the spell inside it was far more important than what the item actually looked like. Daemon-made and bespelled, it would let him safely traverse any portal he chose to activate, whether it was dragon-maintained, like this one, or a wild portal, found somewhere in the wilderness and uncontrolled by the government. Whether the place he had chosen to go had an official portal or a wild one, he could have gotten there with that pendant. And it was a gift from his parents. From his parents. If anything said that this was what he was supposed to do, that should have.

It had taken two whole months to come to this as-yet-unmade decision. Evoli had spent most of his free time either in the libraries of Sanctuary, or reading books borrowed out of the libraries at Sanctuary back at the apartment. Each book was on some world that was no Avengaea. Some world that also had dragons, like Avengaea, but they were all very different than Avengaean dragons. Evoli and his kind could live quite happily without ever once looking at a human being or a daemon, though few were so isolated as that. Other dragon species, apparently, were presented with humans, daemons, or anything else who wanted to be there, to link up with at birth-- or, in the case of most dragons, hatching. It was supposedly much like what Avengaean dragons were doing with magic now, what Evoli's sister had done, at the bonding ceremonies: lifelong partners, bonded mind to mind, sworn to care for and protect each other as long as the bond was in place.

In short, it was what Evoli had wanted when he first met Riya. He hadn't had the heart to deny his sister what she wanted, however, not even when what she wanted denied him that very same thing. He could come along, she had promised, stay with the bonded pair and be like part of the family. At the time, he'd thought that would be enough. It really should have been enough. But he hadn't thought about what it would be like to spend the bulk of his time-- if not all of it-- with a pair bonded so happily as Evola and Riyikith were. They were, of course, perfect for each other.

Maybe if Evoli had stood up for himself and taken the bond, himself, he would have been perfect, too-- but he hadn't, and all he'd gotten since then was more withdrawn and more bookish. There hadn't been a lot to his life before the bonding ceremony, since he had been only three-- rapidly aged by magic to "be" older-- but he seemed to remember that he'd had more fun. Of course, there hadn't been classes-- but those were fun!-- and magic lessons-- even more enjoyable-- and the whole of Sanctuary to explore. There had just been him, his twin sister, and his parents in their small, mountain village.

I used to like to be mysterious, he thought, a little amused by that tendency now, at the lofty age of four, instead of three-- which, either way, still left him stranded at the supposed maturity of a twenty-year-old dragon-- or, if he were human, ten. A very old ten, he'd been told, since he was so introspective and serious, but still. Ten. I guess it's hard to be mysterious now, when everyone knows me and knows my sister can pound me into the dirt without even trying. --Not that she would, but she could, because I'd let her.

This had all been Evola's idea, supposedly. After the third bonding, his last chance at possibly finding himself a bond-- not that he'd really had a chance, but it had been his last time allowed to stand-- he had resigned himself to being "alone". Of course, he wasn't really alone: he had Evola, and Riya, and his parents when they had time to visit, not to mention a couple friends among the other dragonets. He just didn't have a bond, like his sister and his friend Cemitae, even though he'd been given the chance to three times. All three times, he had failed.

That's stupid, he told himself. It's not "fail". There just wasn't anybody "for me".

Which was almost as disappointing. And which was why Evola had suggested he try looking offworld, among dragons who bonded naturally. As odd as the idea sounded, for a dragon to form up such a link with another dragon, there were off-world dragons on Avengaea who were linked to each other. It was, indeed, possible, even if the idea had been strange. So, rather than dismiss it out of hand, Evoli set himself to researching. Hence, why it had taken him so long to get to this point. The point of the not-yet-made decision.

He sat before the dragon-maintained portal, fingering his pent'ed pendant, that would take him to a world called Mythaclae. The not-yet-formed plan was to stay there for three days, a few hours flight from the large city and Dragonhome, as it was called, on that planet. If a search-rider found him, he would go and be signed up for whatever clutch he was needed or wanted at. If not, he would go home and give up the idea of bonding. That was as good a test as any, discounting actually standing at a hatching and being rejected. Which was possible.

Stupid, he thought with a sigh. I decided I'm going to go and I planned out what I'm going to do.... I might as well do it.

Tredegar, ever alert even though he was pretending not to be, flicked one long, fur-tipped ear at the sound of the sigh. When Evoli climbed to his feet and hefted the heavy backpack, he glanced his way out of the corner of his eye. "Made yer choice, didje?" he asked kindly.

"I guess so," Evoli answered with a little smile. ::Evola, I'm going... I'll send to you every sunset, if I can.::

::Be careful,:: she sent back affectionately. ::I'll miss you.::

That was true, he could tell, and seemed to make him feel better. ::I'll miss you, too, Evola.::

Then Tregedar powered up the portal, and the pendant hummed in his hands. It was too late to turn back. All he could do was find a nice spot and wait.

Thankfully, he wouldn't be waiting very long.