Changeable as the Sea

The next two days of waiting took far too long. Keren found things to do, from playing poker with Adara and Franco to extra drills with the soldiers, but nothing did more than partially distract her from the approaching excursion. Every time there was a lull in her activity, which was often during those long two days, it was like she could already hear the ceaseless crashing of the waves on the shore, and she wanted time to fly faster.

She knew her anxiousness to be away was bothering Adara, but she couldn't help it. She had already packed twice, then unpacked again both times, not satisfied with how she had her belongings arranged, by the time Adara joined her in their room after dinner. The other girl eyed her with something that resembled disgust, but Keren flashed her a grin anyway. Adara didn't have to understand-- Adara couldn't understand. There were simply things she couldn't fathom, because there were things she didn't know.

If she did knoo, would she ehven understand then? Keren mused, not for the first time. Would it matter tae her what I am?

"Keren, what is that?" Adara asked suddenly, staring at a carefully folded pelt of short, silvery-gray fur sitting among spare uniforms and jeans and t-shirts. Curiosity now warred with continued disgust, and she had to have at least guessed what it was, even if it was doubtful she could guess what it meant.

Horrified that she had simply left it sitting there, where anyone could see or steal it, Keren snatched the pelt up and held it close to her chest protectively. "Naething," she said defensively, "It's jest something from hoome. From-- from my mother."

"Your mother gives you strange gifts," Adara said skeptically. "Is that a skin?"

"Yes," Keren answered, blushing furiously under her freckles as she started quickly repacking again. "A seal skin, if yeh must know. It's a family tradition."

"Right, okay, sorry." Adara backed off at her sharp tone, holding up her hands, and set about getting her own things out to fit into her own backpack in silence.

Still fighting with embarrassment, for Adara's obvious feelings on the matter of her room mate carrying around what she could only see as a dead animal skin, and shame, for having been so careless with her sealskin, Keren took much less care with her continued packing. The only person outside her family and her best friend at home who knew what she really was, was their direct superior, Captain Mullen, and she hadn't even meant for him to find out. He had reacted fairly well to it, but he was a pretty strange sort of person, himself; Keren could only imagine how the other Sevens would react to finding out their team-mate was only partly human. Adara's reaction at just seeing her sealskin was bad enough. If she ever saw Keren putting it on, she would probably think one or the both of them were mad, and she would certainly not want anything to do with the tall, selkie freak anymore. If she had any idea what a selkie was.

Staring in frustration at her shoddily packed, overly-stuffed backpack, Keren sighed and forced herself to calm down. Worrying about something that might not even happen was stupid, and she had a job to do. A poorly arranged pack meant discomfort, inefficiency, and possible danger, if she needed something inside and couldn't find it quickly. Clucking at herself, sounding so much like her own mother that she had to smile, she started pulling things out a third time to rearrange it yet again.

It en't as if I'm a very good selkie, anyway, she thought bitterly. Selkies are saeppoosed tae be graceful and beautiful-- and God, we're supposed tae be gentle! That was a laugh: Keren, gentle? She was about a gentle as an orca in a rage. Her sister was a perfect selkie: lithe, beautiful, kind, and with a kind of motherly wisdom about her. But Aileen would naever come anywhere near the army, much less another planet, Keren added smugly to herself. None of the others would aever make a name for themselves an our family... I'm the first one. That was something worth doing, even if it meant she was wierd among her family and strange among the rest of the world. But it would have to be enough for Keren.

She ran her hand fondly over the velvety sealskin before placing it gently at the bottom of the pack, between her towel and another spare uniform, where it would be safe. Tomorrow... tomorrow she would see the sea again.