All said and done, Catame thought the first bonding meeting went very well. There was really no reason for him to be there-- or, there hadn't been, until the week before, when he'd met Tyrolean. The real reason he and Tantra were here, and the reason he'd dragged Daynoren and Novitas along with them, was to support Tyrolean. The other two hadn't really wanted to come, and they spent the whole evening looking bored-- though Catame guessed that at least some of Daynoren's boredom was feigned, because he caught his brother staring at a pretty lady in very strange clothes off and on all the evening.

They weren't out on the floor like they were when they wanted to bond, themselves, or even at tables like they'd had for his own bonding a year ago, which was too cold to hold outside like Day's bonding. Intead, they were sitting in the cloud-like nests that clung to the meeting room's walls. Catame had enjoyed how comfortable they were for the third bonding meetings, and now sat snuggled down happily with Tantra sprawled across his lap. Daynoren and Novitas sat beside them, the former leaning on his elbows against the soft edge and the latter reclining against the wall, looking like she was paying absolutely no attention to the proceedings. There were other watchers, all of the off-world pairs, for example, seated in similar nests around the room. Tyrolean, though, was standing down on the floor by his brother.

The poor daemon-in-armor-- also in a very large robe tonight, something his brother Kienn had bought for him to hide the metal; Catame could still see the little daemon boy through the fabric as well as he could through the armor-- really looked like he needed that support. He seemed very nervous, shifting from foot to foot, moving his hands around, eyes darting around anxiously. Cat tried to catch his attention with a bright, encouraging smile, and managed to catch it with an enthusiastic wave. Ty smiled faintly back at him, but that was all the time they had before the dragons came out to join them.

The meeting lasted about an hour, maybe an hour and a half, and Tyrolean and his brother Kienn-- who looked almost as bored as Daynoren, and as bad-tempered as Novitas-- spoke with a very young pair of Fire twins and their older half-sibling, a Light-Fire mix named Demulcei. Catame watched them the whole time, and thought things went very well; he didn't know the twins, as they didn't share any classes with him, but he knew their sister. They seemed to be having a very nice conversation with Ty and Kienn, despite Tyrolean freaking out a moment when the kit butted his knee lightly with her head, through the robe. From what Catame could hear from where he sat, Ty thought she'd hurt herself, but she was fine, just surprised.

So, he was very surprised when, once the dragon kits had cleared away and the candidates started back to their rooms, Tyrolean didn't show up at the hallway to meet him and chatter about how no one made fun of him and how dragons actually talked to him and everything. Catame had thought that he would be ecstatic. Kienn had disappeared, too, so he couldn't ask him-- not like he really expected Kienn would be much help; the older daemon didn't really trust him yet.

"Where do you think he's gone off to?" he wondered aloud, frowning.

"I don't know," Tantra answered, hugging to his legs more out of habit and affection than shyness now and looking around as much as he was.

"I'm going to try to find him. Could you go tell Day and Novitas and your momma where I am? I'll come get ready to leave as soon as I find him and see if he's okay."

"But what he he's gone really far, or something--"

"--then I'll find someone to go with me. I'll be fine, I'm not stupid or anything, I'm just worried about him. Something's not right."

"... I know. All right. But if you don't come back, I'll come looking for you, too."

Catame smiled and bent just enough to kiss her forehead, just beneath the horn. "I know. I'll see you in a bit." And, following a hunch, he trotted for the hallway leading to the courtyard. It was Ty's favorite spot, the courtyard, even at night and in the cold. He could survive a few minutes outside without his cloak and quilted coat-- maybe Ty would let him borrow that huge robe; there was enough fabric there to wrap around little Catame at least three times.

Sure enough, there was Tyrolean, standing in the faint magical lighting that glowed around the tops of the walls and the slightly brighter moonlight, his hood down and helmet missing. He was facing away from Catame, so he couldn't see his face, but from the way his shoulders were hunching, he was either crying or trying not to. Catame bit his lip; sometimes people didn't like it when other people saw them crying. He didn't mind, himself, but other people did, and what if Tyrolean was one of them?

Even if he was, he decided, he couldn't do nothing. Even if people didn't like seeing them crying, they'd still want someone to talk to, right? So he crept out into the snow, shivering a bit, but only a bit, and said, tentatively, "Ty?"

The little daemon spun around in mid-air, his armor and robe spinning, too, and making a loud clattering sound in the process. "Who--"

"Just me," Catame said softly, looking up at Ty's face. Yes, he did look like he'd been crying, as much as a metal-bodied spirit could cry, anyway. 

"Catame?" Tear-bright gold eyes blinked at him. "Why are you out here?" Confusion turned to anxiety. "You'll get all cold again!" he exclaimed, before Catame could explain why he had followed him, "You should--"

"I'll be fine," Catame said quickly, to forestall the fountain of worry. Sometimes being so delicate got on his nerves, particularly when other people knew and worried about him. "What are you doing out here?"

"Me? I like walking out here, that's all...."

Tyrolean was a very bad liar. He looked off to the side, wrung his hands, and shifted anxiously. Not even Catame was that bad at lying.

"Where's you're helmet?"

"My helmet? Oh, uh, it's-- I-- threw it... over there...." He pointed vaguely over at the helmet, which Catame headed towards to pick it up. To anyone else walking by, it would look like Ty was headless; Catame could see him, but nobody else. He knelt in the snow and picked it up, ignoring how cold it was, and started brushing it off.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking over at his new, odd friend. "Were the kits-- were they mean, or something?" They didn't seem like they were, but he didn't know why else Tyrolean would be out here.

"No, no, the kits weren't mean... I just...." He trailed off, looking like he was about to cry again, and looked at the ground. Catame climbed back to his feet, padded over to him, and offered him his helmet wordlessly. He took it and plopped it back into place, then finally continued, in a soft, slightly pained voice, "I can't do this...."

Startled, Catame blinked up at him. "Of course you can. You looked like you looked like you were doing fine, to me--"

"No, I can't!" Ty interrupted with a cry. "Doesn't matter if the kits liked me-- I can't take care of a kit-- just look at me!"

Catame looked at him, but still didn't understand. It wasn't as if dragons needed a lot of care... just attention, and Ty could certainly give him or her that, and plenty of it! "But--"

"One of them tried to play around with me," Tyrolean explained, sounding as if it were the worst thing in the world, "Butted her head against my leg, and hurt herself! Just because she was trying to play! What kind of bond would I make if I can't even play without worrying!"

"Ty-- she didn't hurt herself, she was just fine, I saw--"

But Tyrolean wasn't listening. "No... no, a kit needs someone like you, someone who can touch them and hug them and smile at them, not a walking hunk of junk! Wouldn't be fair... I'm going to be like this-- forever. Really for forever."

For some reason, Catame was reminded of Tantra, how she fell into black moods for no reason at all, how she worried about everything, especially what other people thought of her, especially what she was like compared to someone else. The thought that Catame, who got sick at the drop of a hat and couldn't stand the cold, was a better bond then someone strong and kind like Tyrolean, simply made no sense-- and yet Ty thought it. And thought that he, himself, wasn't worth anything, that he was a horrible bond candidate, maybe even a horrible person. Why did people think things like that?

"You won't be stuck like that forever," he said firmly. "Someday someone'll fix you, find out what went wrong and fix you."

"Maybe you really think that," Tyrolean said, sounding dejected and maybe even a little mocking; that kind of hurt. "And maybe sometimes I can make myself think that, too... but getting out of here someday doesn't do me any good now...."

There wasn't much to say to that. Catame knew that Ty was wrong, that he'd be a fine bond-- better than his rude, reluctant brother, at any rate!-- and that the kits were perfectly happy talking to him, and that he wouldn't hurt them just by petting them or hugging them or playing with them, not if he were careful, or the kit knew he was metal and knew not to smack their head into him. He knew Tyrolean was just worrying too much, like Tantra worried too much, thinking about things that didn't matter and making the things that did matter look worlds worse. He knew all that, but he had no idea how to say it, and to make Tyrolean listen to it....

"I shouldn't even be here," Tyrolean murmured.

"Here?"

"No, not here at Sanctuary, just not here...." The expression on Ty's face was completely unreadable; or, it might have been, but Catame had never seen it before. He shivered again, and not just from the cold. That expression was kind of scary. "I'm glad that Master Sayn," Ty continued vaguely, "but sometimes... I wonder... what if...?"

"Don't-- don't talk like that, Ty--" Cat managed around a lump in his throat.

"I just... I want out of here so bad," Ty said after a moment, not looking at him.

Suddenly frightened, Catame clung to the armor's gauntlet, trying to reach up and touch Ty's real hand, even though he knew he couldn't, and just started babbling. "Then we'll get you out, we'll find a way, I promise. Just don't talk like that, you're scaring me, Ty, please don't talk like that. It'll be okay, really it will--" He gulped a bit and tried to talk sensibly. "If you really want to, maybe you can-- you can drop out, or something. If you really don't want to bond."

"No, I can't drop out," Ty sighed. "I told Aloia I'd try, and I don't want Ki to think...." He finally looked at Catame. "But-- you'll come to watch tomorrow, too, right?"

"Of course I will," Catame said as firmly as he could, but his voice still shook.

".... Thanks."

For a moment, they were quiet, Catame looking at Ty looking at the snow on the ground. Then Tantra bounded out into the snow. "Catame, Catame, Momma's here, we've gotta go--" She skidded to a stop, sending some of the light layer of snow splattering out ahead of her, at the sight. "Um...."

"Okay, Tantra," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ty... don't worry so much, okay? It'll be fine, I promise."

Ty just gave him a sad little smile and that silly thumbs-up sign, and Catame had to leave, even if he didn't want to leave his friend, standing in the snow and looking so horribly alone.