The nervousness came back that afternoon, as they trudged across the snow together to see Deiv Watcher, Akija keeping his hand captive, perhaps to keep him from slipping back to the house and letting her go on alone. The storm had died down to a light but chill breeze and a few stray snowflakes, but it was still cold, and both of them were shivering by the time they got to the Watcher house. Not surprisingly, Chaith immediately bundled them up in blankets, deposited them in front of the fireplaces, and plied them with hot drinks. Cacopheny had discovered that he liked hot chocolate, though it was a little sweet for his taste, more than most of Chaith's usual teas, so that was what he got.

Onis was at class with Sentio and Chario, just as Aeta was at lessons with his gene artisan tutor, but Deiv made his way back inside after a round of deliveries mere moments after they'd arrived, apparently taking advantage of the lull in the weather to get a few out-of-the-house calls. He got the same treatment from Chaith, and soon the three of them were all ensconced beside the fire with their steaming mugs, chatting. Or, rather, Akija and Deiv were chatting, and Cacopheny was trying not to give in to the urge to literally disappear.

Ironic that you're here to talk about magic--

--not that you are talking--

--and you're resisting actually using some.

Funny that he'd never actually considered that "magic". A lot of things he'd just done, he never considered "magic"....

Finally Akija seemed to realize how uncomfortable he was, and that he wasn't about to ask Deiv for a favor himself, and brought the conversation around to magic, Cacopheny's in particular. "Thing is," she said, sounding exasperated on his behalf, "anybody they could get t'teach him would either be rude just cuz he's part demon or not know how to teach him right."

"That would be a problem," Deiv agreed neutrally, looking between them both, and Cacopheny tried not to look too nervous.

"Well, we were thinking--"

"Zhe vas," Cacopheny corrected, finally saying something. "Zhe ssought of it."

"Well, yeah, but you agreed," Akija countered with a grin, then continued with the actual point of the conversation: "Well, what if you taught 'im magic?"

Thankfully, Deiv did not immediately turn the idea down. In fact, as Akija went on to list all of the reasons she thought her father would make a better teacher than any dragon Aloia might assign to him, he nodded thoughtfully to each one. It looked like at least some of the anxiety was unfounded: Deiv agreed readily and with a smile to take over Cacopheny's lessons in magic. Whether or not the rest-- that somehow entering into any kind of constant relationship with Deiv was a bad idea-- was unfounded would take time to determine.

That agreement made-- and gratitude hurriedly and sincerely expressed-- Deiv actually focused on Cacopheny, and he was forced to try and recall anything and everything he could do that could possibly be considered magic. As he'd begun to suspect, most of the things he listed, even those things he'd named with uncertainty, seemed to fit the description. Only his own personal shadows, and some of those he heard from other shadows-- mostly those from inanimate objects, such as the mumbling he heard sometimes in the shadow of the Watchers' bookcase, or the nightmarish haunts at the Canaric manor-- seemed to not be magic. Everything else, Deiv said was trainable.

I'm insulted, one of the nameless ones sniffed, as it and its fellows were dismissed out of hand, but said no more on the subject. Most of them were too curious-- or busy pretending not to be-- to jibe at him or each other.

"It's getting late. Why don't you come back tomorrow?" Deiv finally said. "With Akija? The two of you can share lessons, since she's not likely to need much more training, anyway."

The last of Cacopheny's tension drained away, at that. He wouldn't be left solely in the company of the daemon; if there was anything to fear, Akija would be there to make sure he didn't have to fear it. "Yes... ssank you," he sighed, and even managed a shy smile.

"Thanks, Dad!" Akija grinned. "This'll be fun."

The incredulous look Cacopheny answered her with made them all laugh, and then Deiv shooed them out, so they would get home before their bonds.

The next day began Cacopheny's real lessons in magic which, as Akija had surprisingly guessed, did turn out to be unexpectedly enjoyable, eventually. Even at their worst, they were far preferable to those he'd suffered before. Deiv was patient with him, and seemed to be able to explain things so that he could understand them, in part because he seemed to keep in mind the fact that the dragons' language wasn't his first language, or an intuitive one to a demon, and in part because he wasn't too busy looking down his nose at him or edging away uncomfortably to explain things properly. He didn't assume he knew things, he didn't get frustrated when he said he didn't know things, and he didn't insult him. In fact, he was just as effective a teacher as Idela Veshal, when she actually got down to teaching, and every day he left feeling like he'd at least not completely wasted his time, no matter how frustrated he might have been with himself and his stubbornly difficult magic.

Of course, Akija's presence was an unexpected and very welcome bonus. Just be being there, she kept things more relaxed, so he wasn't so nervous in Deiv's presence. And she was so encouraging, it would have been difficult not to try a little harder. Just because she was there, Tiger refrained from lashing out when things got tense, Genner made an effort not to be insulting, Almadir didn't demand to learn something dangerous, and the others largely kept out of the way. He managed not to vent his temper, say anything he really regretted, or hurt anyone, if just for her sake. 

The three of them met every other day for a while, until he finally learned how to consciously get his magic under his own control. That, after all, was the first step, and for a while, he actually needed a day between lessons, just to want to face them again. The shadows weren't very helpful-- and in fact every now and then tried to actually hinder him, when they didn't like something Deiv was trying to impart, or thought they were in danger-- and though Deiv was patient and Akija encouraging, Cacopheny himself was neither, being decidedly impatient and generally displeased with himself.

Once he figured that out, however, lessons really did seem more like fun than a chore. For once, he actually felt like he had a little control, a little bit of a handle on himself and everything around him, rather than just drifting, forced to seek protection from others. He couldn't do much, but he at least knew what he could do. He couldn't silence the shadows he heard in places that frightened him, but he could understand even shadows he hadn't been able to before, like Deiv's and even a few humans. He couldn't silence his own shadows, but he knew what was him and what was them, and he could draw his own power away from them-- which, he thought, was the best thing he'd learned, of all.

It just took many long months to figure that out.

When they weren't in lessons, Cacopheny was still learning, from Lady-Professor Veshal through Sentio, about history and dragon magic. Even though it wasn't his own power, once she got wind of his magic lessons, she determined it would be a good idea to introduce him to theory and historical accounts of magic use, and since most of what Sanctuary had in the way of such texts was about dragons, that's what he read about. That was when Akija was busy with family or artifacts, of course. When she wasn't, he spent a lot of time with her, attempting to learn what actual "living" was about.

Unfortunately, he still spent a lot of time just alone with shadows, locking everyone else out. Still, he was used to that, so it was more of an annoyance than a real evil. Akija would always heal him, if things got too bad, and no one else seemed to hold it against him. Sentio, in fact, was happier than ever, and Chario just floated through school easily enough. Kenjista was as impossible as ever, but that was familiar, as well, just a part of the house.

On the whole, for the first time he could recall, Cacopheny thought he might actually be content, or as close to content as he could remember. And that, he thought, was good enough for him.