It wasn't until after dinner-- with the Watcher family, that night, which made a good stalling tactic-- that Cacopheny had the opportunity to talk to Sentio about magic without the availability of distraction or procrastination. It wasn't that he hadn't been thinking about it-- for he had, unable to get it out of his mind-- or even that he simply didn't believe the "magic" was there. He'd even asked Akija twice since that afternoon to show him his magic, mostly just to prove to himself that it really did exist whenever he started to doubt what he'd seen and felt again. And, of course, because it was interesting.

And educational, in a way. Each time she'd pulled out a little ball of shadow-stuff, coalescing it on her palm and even making it "do tricks" like wrap around her fingers like a ring or a ribbon or dance around in the air, it had sounded different. The first time, it had protested, a very small, tinny sort of voice with no discernable gender. The second time, though, it had been giggly, excited, and quite obliging to Akija's requests. The third time, it had been grumpy but not frightened, and only reluctantly did as it was bidden. Whatever that might mean-- if anything-- Cacopheny had no idea, but it was fascinating. 

But that wasn't why he kept avoiding speaking of the subject with his bond. It wasn't even his fear that whatever magic he had, he couldn't control it, or that the shadows would wrest that control from him. They already did, with greater effect than he did, control that shadow-magic. Tiger, especially. Learning that control himself, he thought, might even give him an edge against them, for he might be able to wrest control from them, if he only knew how.

His real reason was that he thought he knew what Sentio would say, and next to Akija's open-minded and open-ended acceptance, Sentio's eager or even condescending agreement with Aloia's assessment seemed almost unbearably confining. Cacopheny was finding that he didn't really like being pushed into things. He wanted to approach them carefully, to make sure nothing bad would come of them. Perhaps, like Akija, he was a slow thinker and liked to come to decisions in his own time.

Or perhaps, as the shadows taunted him, he still didn't know how to make decisions, and only resisted being guided into them out of sheer stupidity or stubbornness. Either was a valid argument, and either could have been true-- or, he mused, both could be true. But either way, he still didn't really want to ask Sentio's opinion just to hear that yes, he should learn magic, of course he should, because everyone who had magic should learn to use it, and wouldn't Cacopheny like to be like everyone?

What if I don't want to be "like everyone"? he thought to himself, a little sullenly, when he imagined it.

So, he was pleasantly surprised when that wasn't the answer he got.

::I don't know,:: Sentio said silently after he'd finished summarizing Aloia's conversation with him-- also silently, as the four were sitting quietly in the living room with respective quiet entertainments while they all digested. His expression must have given away his surprise, for Sentio smirked at him sideways and added, ::I don't always have to agree with Lady Aloia, you know.::

::Uh. I guess not....::

Sentio's expression, even as he looked back at the book he was carefully copying letters out of. ::I do think you should learn more about your magic; it's dangerous for you, and for other people, to have it totally uncontrolled, especially with magic like yours. I mean, look at what all you can do with it without knowing anything about it.::

That was something Cacopheny had never considered. Dangerous? Uncontrolled magic could be dangerous?

Well, actually he already knew that, he just hadn't thought about it in those terms. Weren't his shadows dangerous, sometimes?

Sentio continued, oblivious to his thoughts. ::But I don't know if Aloia's going to go about it very well. I mean, she's not a magic-teacher, she won't be teaching you.::

Caught by surprise, Cacopheny looked over at him, looking up from the puzzle Akija had pulled out and was currently sorting pieces for-- he'd actually been helping, this time, for he could recognize edge pieces versus inner pieces. ::She won't be?::

::Of course not. She has too much to do. She might just pick out one of the other magic-teachers... and none of them will know anything about your kind of magic. I mean, it's kinda like Light magic, being a part of the same spectrum, but it's not really the same, since it's the opposite, as well. I don't know if any of them will actually be able to teach you. And, of course,:: he added with a little frown at the book, which Cacopheny didn't think was for the book, ::none of them know you very well.::

It was a point. The only teacher who knew Cacopheny well enough to not be unnerved by him was Idela Veshal, and she wasn't a magic teacher at all.

::I do not know if I will have much of a choice... the only ones who know anything about-- about the right kind of magic... would be, well....::

::Dark demons, I know.:: Sentio stuck the end of his writing implement in his mouth, chewing on it with his back teeth. It was a bad habit of his when he was thinking, that ruined most of his pens and pencils well before they'd run out of ink or they became too small to use. Buying him refillable pens was a fruitless exercise.

::Well, if you want to take Aloia up on her teachings, I guess you would just have to deal with it... hope they get over being nervous with you or your magic quick. It's not as if you're that scary. Just try not to look so brooding and sullen-- and for Goddess' sakes, don't smile and show off those fangs!::

He was joking-- sort of-- and Cacopheny launched a puzzle-piece at him, which bounced off his nose and made him jump.

"Hey!" Akija-- who had just been reaching for that piece-- scolded, attempting to look like she was not on the verge of a grin. "I need that piece!"

Cacopheny didn't even bother trying to look innocent, or like he was taking her "anger" seriously; he wasn't very good at it. "I vill get it... sssssorry."

"Yeah, you'd better!" she replied, shaking a fist at him threateningly, and he hurried over to retrieve the offending puzzle-piece, which turned out to be one of those rare and much-needed corner pieces. Chario snickered in the background.

::So what do you think you're going to do?:: Sentio asked as they both settled back down again.

::I think... I think I should,:: Cacopheny answered, a little nervously; that lack of shoving towards a decision he might not have wanted seemed to have firmed up the tentative leanings he'd already had towards that very same decision.

::Scared?:: Sentio asked sympathetically. 

::It... is not something I'm used to thinking about. Magic. I always thought... thought that I didn't have any. That anything I did was just. Just. My imagination, seeing things, shadows playing tricks.::

Sentio sent a wave of mild disbelief, but also a little understanding, and didn't comment on that. ::You don't think that now,:: he pointed out.

::Akija showed it to me. I know it's there. I just. Just. Don't know if I can use it....::

::Well, maybe now you can find out.::

::I suppose....::

It would either be an enlightening experience, or a miserable one. But Cacopheny had committed now, at least to himself, and witnessed by his bond. There was no turning back now.