By the time he had no more tears left, or at least eyes too sore to cry them, Akija's careful fingers had untangled the mess that was his hair, and both dragon and daemon were purring and relaxed. Even Cacopheny had to admit that he felt a little better; even the shadows were fairly quiet.

The shadows. One shadow in particular. At the memory, he could hear Tiger's restless thoughts. Resting his head in Akija's lap and warmed from behind by Sentio, he took a moment of silence to tiredly ask the question that he could think of no answer for:

Why?

The shadow actually answered, though it was not with an answer. Not immediately, anyway.

Why what?

Why did you do it?

Do what?

It. You know what I mean.

Because.

Because?

Oh, come on, you know you would have hated yourself. Fuck, you would have hated us.

I already do.

Yeah, but at least here and now you can do something about that. There, after we'd done it or you'd done it or She's done it, whoever, nothing would ever change and you'd hate yourself forever.

What's wrong with that?

Everything.

He sighed faintly and let Tiger go; the shadow had no more answers for him. Though he still ached physically, the worst pain, the pain that had hurt the most, had subsided some, withdrawn at the very least. Not assuaged, not for good, certainly... but for now, he could at least think clearly, if slowly. He shifted a little, winced, then turned his head to look up at Akija. It would take more moving than he cared to try to see Sentio, and besides, he found he rather liked where he was.

He didn't much like the view, though. With a little whimper he lifted a trembling hand, touching very carefully just beside one of the part-healed marks on her face. Someone's claws had scored her deeply, four jagged lines nearly from nose to jawline along her left cheek. He didn't remember that, he didn't remember-- "Tid-- tid I--?" he whispered, horrified at the thought.

"No, no, not you," she answered reassuringly, and his hand fell again with a littie sigh of relief. He didn't hurt her; Tiger didn't, none of the shadows did-- but then-- "Those are from Rao." He shut his eyes against the name-- he never knew She had a name before; it was very strange to think of it, a name for the nameless Mistress who ruled his life. But Akija mercifully continued, distracting him again, "You pulled me back. Well... one of your shadows."

He didn't remember that.... How much had he missed? How did he get here? What happened to-- to Her? "Vat-- vat happen't? I to not-- to not rrrememper.... Sentchio?" If Akija was hurt, clawed by Her viciousness, what about the dragon, one of the creatures Her kind supposedly hated above all others? The one She had wanted to rip from him? He twisted, trying to see, but hissed as the motion pulled at only partly-healed flesh with pain, gave up, and went limp again, relying on voice rather than vision. "Iss he-- are you--"

"I'm fine," he heard, and sensed the happiness behind the reassurance; that hurt, too, in a different way than Her loss. He had not been good to his bonded. "She didn't even touch me."

"Goot... goot." But he still didn't know.... "Vat-- vat happen't?" he asked again, looking back up at Akija, since he could actually see her.

"To get me these?" she asked, head tilted slightly, reaching up to touch and then scratch at the claw marks. Cacopheny's own hand twitched, wanting to touch them, too, wanting to assure himself that they weren't too bad; he knew what Her angry claws were like, and he didn't want Akija to have had to feel them. Sentio furry fingers entered his field of vision briefly to swat gently at hers. "--or everything?" she continued, after wrinkling her nose at the dragon. "When the one shadow-- came out?"

"Tiker," he corrected absently, before he could answer her own question. "Hiss name. Yess. Eff'rysingk. I vas... I vas unhappy viss him." He thought he might have reddened a little, obscurely embarrassed that he'd been so angry and dismayed by the shadow's actions, but unable to help knowing why and knowing he'd probably do it again. Akija knew, now, just what kind of person he was, how much of a hold She had on him.... "He zhut me out, ssso I to not-- I to not rememper," he finished, looking hopefully up at her for an explanation to fill in the gaping hole in his memory.

"Tiger?" she repeated, correctly. "Well then thanks go t'him for helpin' like he did...."

Tell her she's welcome. Whenever you get around to it.

If he'd had more energy, more attention to give beyond this conversation, he would have been shocked. Tiger was never polite....

Akija rested her hands to either side of Cacopheny's face on her lap, looking upwards as she thought, and he resisted the absurd urge to lean into one. She took in a breath, sighed it out again, as if she were thinking. Was it so bad that she had to think about it? She finally began: "Well, after you-- Tiger said no t'Rao... I couldn't just stand there... so I undid the spell Rao'd put on me an' Sentio's feet an' tried t'... well, I tried t'... heck, I dunno what I was tryin' to do," she admitted, somewhat sheepishly. Cacopheny waited anxiously, not knowing what she did, at all, except that it had resulted in Akija's torn face and, he perceived dimly, torn and now cloth-wrapped arm.

"But I pushed Rao away from you an' she clawed me like this," Akija continued, "an' then Tiger pulled me back 'fore she could claw me any worse and brought down all this shadow everywhere... led me an' Sentio back, usin' the shadow like a shield t'keep Rao off-- she was clawing at it then, until she tore it down." Akija twitched her wings with discomfort, and Sentio shivered; Cacopheny wished he knew why. "An' then... then my family came an' rescued us. Chario'd run for help, an' a whole bunch of my family came an' drove Rao off--" She stopped then and looked back down at Cacopheny, who looked back helplessly. "You were back then... you remember that part, or no?"

"I-- no-- I vas?" he asked weakly. He didn't remember anything; had it really been him? Had another shadow taken him, instead? "I to not rrrrrememper," he repeated, fretfully, disturbed by the lack. "Vat tid I to?"

"Yeah, you came just for a little," Akija said, putting a hand on his hair again. He made himself relax, expelling breath and half-shutting his eyes to listen. "You just summoned up more shadow an' put out the light Rao made, knocked most of my family over with it somehow-- but didn't hurt 'em!" she hurried to assure him when he twitched in fearful regret. "--and Rao used the shadow t'escape. Then ya collapsed-- you'd used up all your magic. So we brought you here... an' you slept all the way up 'till now."

It took him a moment to fully digest that, all of it: Sentio and Akija in danger and then safe again, his shadows being strangely kind, even protective of people they had seemed to have no love and only hate for, a battle of daemons against Her... Her, gone. "Oh," he said at last, softly. "I-- sssssank you." It was the only thing to say. He'd attacked her family; she'd have had every right to leave him where he lay, not take him into her home, clean him, and give him a place to stay.

"Just glad t'help a friend," Akija answered, then closed her eyes and shook her head with a little smirk. Cacopheny didn't know that expression, didn't know what it meant, and for a moment he nearly panicked again-- though for completely different reasons than his last. Was she regretting what she'd done? That she'd chased him down and gotten growled at and hurt and mocked and-- whatever else had happened? He probably would-- wouldn't anyone?

"Vat?" he asked anxiously, unable to cope, just then, with not knowing.

"I'd do it again if I had to," she replied with a broader, almost mischievous grin, and his eyes went completely unfocused with shock at the unexpected answer. "So you an' me get t'be crazy together."

Crazy together.

Like the sound of that.

But-- but--

Just relax and accept it, for once, mutt.

Face it: she really does like you.

Even as stupid, crazy, and treacherous as you are.

Maybe... maybe she does.

He didn't have the energy to think through the amazement, now now, so all he could do was smile back at her. "Ssank you," he said again, softer. "I ssink...." The thought staggered and died, and he forgot it. After a moment of struggling with remembering, he simply closed his eyes and sighed, "I ssink. I am too tir't to sssink."

Akija chuckled and Sentio giggled, and even he managed a tiny, tired smile. "So go back t'sleep," Akija suggested, stroking his hair again and making him sigh contentedly, turning just a little against her hand. "You kin sleep here all the way t'next week if ya need to."

As if those words of permission unhinged the last of his attention, he could feel his awareness start to fade. "If-- if it isss not trrrrouble for you," he managed, curling up a little tighter but strangely unwilling to move too much. Not just because moving hurt, but because... it was comfortable here, snuggled between dragon and daemon, his presence behind him and her hand in his hair. "I vill... trrrry not. Not. To sssleep. Too rrrong," he murmured sleepily.

"Sleep as long as ya need," Akija smiled, but added, "But if yer gonna fall asleep on me, at least scoot back so I kin be on the blanket too, hey?"

He almost didn't hear her. "Mmmph? Oh. Sssssorrry." He did his best, wriggled back and pressed into Sentio, trying to give her more room, blinking blearily at her.

Grinning, Akija settled down in a half-curl on her side, tucking one arm beneath her head, and chuckled, "Go back t'sleep, Coffee." That seemed a very good suggestion, so he took it, sinking back down into the bedspread, shutting his eyes, and curling up as tightly as his lanky body could manage. He could feel Sentio's bulk behind him, like when they still shared the room at the bonding complex, but now Akija was laying on his other side. Before, he might have felt too enclosed, but right now, it felt good, being hemmed in by friends.

See? Maybe you are growing up.

Burrowing into Akija's front, he didn't have a coherent thought to answer Tiger with, because he was immediately asleep.