Cacopheny knocked hesitantly on the door in the entry hall for the bonding complex. The musical murmuring of Aloia's shadow told him she was there, the half-understood words telling him she was only doing paperwork, and it took all of his courage to come try to speak with her. She'd been nothing but kind, finding him at least once a week over the past two months to ask him how everything was and how he was doing staying at the complex. He'd told her over and over that he was fine, he was happy, everything was wonderful-- but over and over, he'd been lying. That was what made this so hard.

"Come in," he heard. For a moment he stared at the door handle, quite as if he'd forgotten how to turn it and go in, as invited. Or as if he were tempted to run back to his room and forget the whole thing. After that moment, though, he took the knob, turned, and opened the door, stepping into the warm, bright office, with its merry fire in the fireplace to ward off the beginnings of autumn's chill. The floor was be-rugged, the walls be-tapestried, the chairs plush and soft, and the single desk done in warm wood and smooth lines. Some people might have found it comfortable, comforting, a very pleasant place. To Cacopheny it felt grating, blinding, and stifling-- but then, that just might have been how he felt that day, anyway.

"Cacopheny!" Aloia exclaimed brightly, smiling like a beam of sunlight as she rose from her seat at the desk. "What a surprise! Come in, come in." He did as directed, and she came around her desk, crossing the room to shut the door behind him and usher him to the pair of softly-upholstered armchairs by the fire. Not where he really wanted to be, but he didn't have the courage to contradict her and so let her herd him over. He did manage to sink carefully into the one farthest from the flames and their eye-searing brightness, at least.

"Would you like anything?" the golden-eyed bonding mistress asked, watching him and still smiling. "A drink, a snack?"

"No..." he answered vaguely. "I am. Fine. Ssank you."

"All right, then." Aloia dropped gracefully into the armchair across from him. "How are you doing? Are classes going well?"

"Yess, yess... fine." He told her he was doing fine in classes every time he saw her, because that was what she always asked, and it was always another lie, since he really was hardly improving at all. He could recognize the letters of the alphabet and even write a few, but putting them together was taking more time and frustrating everyone involved, though the teacher-dragon was doing a very good job at not showing her frustration. Sentio wasn't doing quite so well, but Cacopheny understood and didn't hold it against him. As for himself, well, he wasn't good at hiding anything, and he'd thrown things across the room more than once.

"Are you getting along any better with the dragons?" Somehow no lie could convince her that he was making friends, like she seemed to hope he would, and he'd given up on trying to make them. Lies or friends. 

"No. Not rrrrrreally. But I to not trrrry. Mutch." His accent hadn't really improved much, either....

"I'm sorry to hear that, Cacopheny... is there anything I can do?"

Of course not. But he didn't really want her to, anyway. Making friends with dragons didn't really seem worth it: they'd dislike him and be uncomfortable around him anyway, whether he tried or not. Besides, he was used to being alone. The small company he had now with Sentio and Chario and Akija was enough, and sometimes it was even too much. And he always had the shadows, whether he wanted them or not.

Akija. He gave a little shiver and shook his head. He was here for a reason, not "small talk", as it was called.

Small, indeed.

Full of lies, is more like.

False talk.

Ha! False talk!

"So why the surprise visit?" Aloia was asking, still smiling kindly. "You're not usually one to just drop by to chat."

So very observant she was. It was actually rather disconcerting, sometimes, though Cacopheny guessed that he must be rather transparent. He nodded hesitantly. "I...." What he'd considered to say to her was gone, completely forgotten now that he was faced with actually telling her. He'd thought about it for a long time, trying to plan out how best to turn down her generosity without hurting her feelings or making him think less of him for lying to her all this time. But now he'd forgotten all the words he'd planned, and she was looking at him expectantly, so he'd have to muddle through somehow.

"I-- verry nice. Off you. Very nice to-- to kife me a rrrrroom. Isss a verry koot room. K-good room."

Someday-- someday I'm going to be able to speak without stuttering all the time....

Don't bet on it.

Shut up. I wasn't asking for your opinion.

He took a shaky little breath and continued. "But. I vood like. Vood like. I haf osser place, osser place to moof to. Verry nice off you. Verry. But."

Somehow she understood, but rather than being hurt that he was turning down her hospitality, her eyes lit up and she smiled all the brighter. Through a force of will he didn't flinch back from the blinding cheer. "Cacopheny, you want to move into your own place?"

"Sssssssort off. Isss viss Ssentchio. In sssee city."

"Cacopheny, that's wonderful!" she exclaimed, reaching over to take one of his hands briefly and squeeze it. "I'm so proud of you! Moving out into the world, even if it's just to the Canaric home! It's a step, Cacopheny, a good step."

Trying to hide his confusion with a faintly bewildered smile, he freed his hand again, uncomfortable with the contact. A step? What was she talking about? Did she somehow think that leaving the complex was-- was a sign that he was getting better? She couldn't think that, could she? He wasn't going out to join the world, he was just running away again. If anything, it was a sign that he was getting worse....

To be perfectly honest, Cacopheny felt acutely uncomfortable in the room Aloia had given him. It hadn't been so bad at first; in fact, it hadn't been all that bad until the past two weeks or so. He used to be comfortable in his own little cave, or as comfortable as he could be when he wasn't alone for most of the day, with his blankets in the corner and dimmable lights and the nice, hot shower. It was better than his room with Aedelian Landwerlen, certainly better than his room with Her. It was comfortable. He thought, given a little more time, he might even have been happy. He even dared to have the thought that he might get better, even a little bit.

Stupid thought, that.

Then, two weeks before, two sets of seven days ago, it started. He didn't know what started, but something did, and he was restless. The minds and magics and talkative shadows of the dragons seemed to get louder, closer, more intrusive. Even Sentio grated on him, sometimes; Chario certainly did. As for Kenjista, well, it was all he could to to stay silent and out of her way when she came visiting. And Akija... she was worst of all, if just because she didn't make him want to lash out and tear her up. Not exactly, anyway. It was a peculiar kind of torture to spend time in her presence, one he didn't really mind but also didn't trust, just like he didn't trust himself around her. He'd caught one of the shadows enumerating all the things he'd like to do to her, and not all of them were painful; the thought of that getting out when she was close enough for the shadow to make good on his plans made him shudder.

The only solution he could think of was to get out, to move, to change the place he lived at. Sentio had said with at least a little certainty that they could move into his manor; even if his parents were home more often, which they weren't, there were enough rooms in the building for him to hide from them if they didn't like his presence. The little dragon was actually supposed to have come with him to talk to Aloia, but Cacopheny had been too restless during the boy's afternoon classes and couldn't wait for him. He had to get out. Maybe the clearer air of the manor's dozens of empty rooms would make him feel less hemmed in.

Who ever thought that you, of all people, could feel hemmed in.

You used to live in a room half the size of the one you have now.

And you liked it.

It's a different kind of hemmed in... I think....

If Aloia wanted to think he was getting better, things were improving for him, then he didn't have the heart-- or the courage-- to tell her otherwise. He smiled faintly at her enthusiasm. "You arrrre not... not... unhappy?" he asked tentatively. "Ssat I am leafingk?"

"Of course I'll miss you, Cacopheny," Aloia assured him, still smiling.

Liar.

"But I think this will be good for you."

"I hope so," he answered, and this time was telling the truth.

He didn't remember the trip back to his room, but Sentio wasn't back yet, so he couldn't have wandered off-course too badly. When the boy returned-- without Kenjista for once, thankfully; the horrible little daemon seemed to spend most of her time with them, and that annoyed Cacopheny, too-- the first thing he asked was, "So? Are we moving?"

With a little smile of relief, Cacopheny nodded.