The next morning didn't really seem any better, not at first. In fact, it felt a little worse. Cacopheny woke first, this time, and thankfully without any shadows deciding they wanted control of him for whatever reason of their own. The calm, the gentleness, the protectiveness he'd felt the night before was gone, replaced only with uncertainty. He watched Sentio sleep for a long while before the dragon stirred, thinking, going over the past three days in his mind, ignoring the subdued mutterings of the shadows.

Most of what he'd done so far with the bond Sentio had so selflessly offered wasn't particularly pleasant to remember. The first thing he'd done was to react badly to that daemon-dragon Kenjista, and though Sentio didn't particularly like the creature much yet, either, having Cacopheny be defensive and afraid wasn't going to help matters. He'd told Sentio about his life, even unwittingly shared a couple of his actual memories, destroying some of his innocence and aging him years in mere moments. He'd tried to attack him, wrongly blaming him for a choice that both of them had made, frightening him badly. He'd ruined the boy's time with his family with his mere presence. He'd made him cry.

Part of him wished that he hadn't agreed to all this. There were the usual, selfish thoughts about his life never being the same again, but there were other thoughts, too, thoughts that nagged at him, distracted him like shadow-voices, whispered into his head to sow doubt and fear. Thoughts like what was best for Sentio. For all that this had been Sentio's choice, the dragon hadn't really known what he had chosen, hadn't known what he was choosing or what his future would now be like. Now that it was entwined with the future of someone who, it seemed, was destined to be an outcast, whether by his own choosing or the choosing of the dragons that surrounded him. That wasn't fair to Sentio. It wasn't fair at all-- but now it was too late to do anything about it, because of their shared choice. Because of their bond.

But was it really too late? He supposed he could just run away. He knew how to block the bond between them, and with practice, he could probably block it more completely than he could now, enough to keep from feeling Sentio's feelings, instead of just the one-way block he could hold now. If he just left, ran away somewhere to find himself a cave in a mountain or under a mountain, and Sentio would be free and probably happier. He didn't know anything about living alone, not even how to find anything to eat, and would probably die before too long, and then Sentio would really be free.

Oh, please... let's do that....

One of the quieter voices. Vague and sad and usually telling him to kill himself and put them all out of their misery. He couldn't remember her name, though Sentio's question had brought him the knowledge that she had one, which only depressed her further. Her voice sighed through his mind, dejected and holding only the faint hope that, this time, he might listen to her.

It wouldn't be so bad to die... there would be peace, at least. Endless night, quiet, peace....

But I don't really want to die, he told her, and was mildly surprised to find it true. He'd never really thought about doing what she suggested, ending his own life, because he'd always had Her to live for; he couldn't die unless She wanted him to. But, now that he did, he found that he didn't really like the idea.

We could just take you....

... and do it ourselves.

Yes, but I don't think you will.

Don't be too sure.

Oh, I'm not.

No... no, running away would only hurt Sentio, even if it might help in the distant future. Even if it would set the dragon free. Sentio would probably be afraid if he couldn't find him, he might even cry again. The thought of those tired, childlike sobs, the way Sentio had trusted him enough to take awkward comfort from him, led him to rest one hand on the sleeping dragon's folded wing and shut his eyes. No, running away wasn't an option he could take. And, since he couldn't keep on tiring Sentio and making him cry, he would just have to be a better bond for him. More normal. More like him.

And less like you.

Is that it?

If that's what it takes. I've never really liked myself all that much, anyway, after all. There isn't really much to like.

There was a long silence, almost an erie one, as if the shadows were holding their breath, or preparing themselves for an explosion, or simply speechless in the face of such a bald admittance to what they told him constantly.

"C'coph'ny?"

Sentio's sleepy slur broke the silence outside his mind, and Cacopheny opened his eyes to look down at the dragon-child's brown ones, somewhat unfocused with sleep but settled on his face nonetheless. He stroked the soft fur carefully, trying to recapture the way he'd finally done it the night before, not jerky and sharp but slow and gentle. It was hard, unnatural, but it was what Chiya did, and what made Sentio stop crying.

The mental silence broke with a whisper, an admittance, even if it wasn't the truth.

He likes you....

No... no, he doesn't, really. He thinks he does, but he is afraid of me. He can't like me and be afraid of me at the same time.

Of course Sentio didn't really like him. Sentio was kind and brave and compassionate, and endlessly curious, and that was why he had chosen to try and help the strange halfbreed who had intrigued him at the two occassions he'd had to talk to him. Not because he'd liked him. Even if he was likeable, there hadn't been enough time at those two bonding meetings for him to decide.

"You okay?"

"Am fine," he assured Sentio softly.

"Thought I heard someone...."

"You vere. Asssleep. Treamingk."

"About you?"

"I to not know."

"But you were saying--"

"Jzusst a tream," Cacopheny interrupted gently, withdrawing a bit from the bond. He hadn't wanted his own thoughts and shadows to spill into Sentio's sleep, but it seemed they had. Still halfway asleep, Sentio seemed to accept that explanation, sighing gustily and, after a moment of lying limp in the blankets under his bond's hand, stretched out with a wide, sharp-toothed yawn.

Next time he might not believe you.

I will think about that next time. This time, I will try to make him happier.

Good luck.

You'll need it.

Sentio was more awake now, scratching at an itch on his shoulder with a hind paw. "Didjou sleep well?" he asked after another yawn.

"Mmmhmm." He couldn't remember how he'd slept. He hadn't dreamed. "Tid you?"

"Very," Sentio said, smiling up at him sweetly. "You were right."

"Rrright?"

"Things really do seem better in the morning."

Cacopheny could only smile quietly at his bond. "I am. Klad." Then, after a pause, he decided he might as well start trying to be better now, as soon as possible. How else could he start getting used to it? "So vat. Vood you like to do totay?" he asked, as carefully and clearly as he could manage.

"Do?" Sentio repeated, puzzled, but Cacopheny could feel hope, too, at the question. The dragon had not been happy, holed up inside this room for the bulk of the past two days.

"Yesss. Vat? Anyssingk?"

For a moment, he felt suspicion and a little guilt distract Sentio from the hope, and he tried to look as honest as possible. He didn't really know how to look honest, but apparently he managed well enough, for Sentio smiled again, tentatively. "Maybe," he suggested, "after breakfast, we could... just go for a walk, out in the forest."

The forest. With all the trees. The word conjured up images of lots and lots of trees, and one of these forests covered the mountains surrounding Sanctuary. Cacopheny hadn't been out there yet, except to see the cathedrals, and that hadn't been long enough or close enough to really show him much of what a "forest" was really like. But, he thought firmly, he could learn. "All rrrright. Afffter preakfasst."

Sentio's smile was more sure, and it was enough to tell Cacopheny that perhaps he would be able to do this, at least, right.