As much as he would have liked to just hold Akija for as long as she let him, once she'd drifted back off to sleep Cacopheny could no longer ignore just how positively disgusting he felt, dirty and travel-stained and tangled, especially now that he was surrounded by so much cleanliness. And how hungry: now that he at least had hope that Akija would get better, and certainty that he was not going to be turned away after being gone so long, he could smell the usual, but unusually inviting, kitchen-scents even from the bedroom.

But the shower really ought to come first, or he'd dirty up everything in there.

Chario looked like he had dozed off, as well; his shadow was quiet, at least, except for occasional murmurings of relief. Akija was soundly asleep now, and not even shivering anymore-- not even shifting around feverishly-- to his relief. He managed to detach her from his tunic and get her carefully bundled back up in her blankets, though he regretted having to let her go, and made his quiet way to the bathroom for a long, hot shower, grabbing a clean robe on his way in. He expected he'd be using most of the soap....

By the time he'd gotten the grime off him and his hair into something that didn't resemble a thorny bush, Cacopheny was thoroughly warm and rather pink all over from the vigorousness of his scrubbing.

Guess being caught in the rain a couple times doesn't make up for a good wash, Flash admitted at last, as they watched water run brown down the drain. He'd been perfectly content being dirty, which had surprised Cacopheny a bit, but even he had to admit this was better.

You're disgusting, Araski snorted at him.

And proud of it, Flash shot back.

It was the first time he'd really paid attention to himself and the way he looked since before he'd left, and he was a little shocked at how thin he'd gotten. He'd never been particularly filled out or soft around the edges, but after five years of regular meals, he had gotten used to having a little flesh on his frame. Maybe it was just another reason to find something to eat, and soon, though his stomach was rather forcefully reminding him of the same once he deemed himself as clean as he was going to get.

Stepping out at last and rubbing the mirror clean with a spare towel, he frowned at the mess that was his hair. Not so much a thorn bush anymore, maybe, as he'd gotten it clean and gotten the somewhat embarrassing remains of foliage out of it, but it was still badly tangled. He had no idea if he'd ever get some of the mats out of it, honestly, and was afraid it might have to get cut. He only vaguely remembered ever having his hair cut, roughly and a long time ago, and that had been well before Chiya and Ketvia. Rao had liked it long, so She didn't cut it often. More to grab, he supposed sourly.

That was when he realized what he's just thought, and froze for a moment, holding his breath in shock. Not Her, not She, not his Mistress... but Rao. Even after the realization that he wanted nothing more to do with the demoness, didn't want to see that She might have been waiting for him below in Her old domain, he'd still not thought of Her so casually, by Her name, without conscious effort.

Until just then, in that thought about hair.

Good for you! Tek praised him happily.

Took you long enough, Araski grumbled.

I can't believe you dared it, Almadir growled.

She would have torn us up, for that.

So? I'm sick of being torn up.

Good thing She can't hear him now, then.

Awww. No more goddess? the insane one pouted.

"I... guess not," he marveled, then gave up on his hair for the moment and finished drying off and getting dressed in a soft, warm, clean robe. Food was waiting... and Akija. When she finished her nap, anyway, because she was still asleep when he poked his head out of the steamy bathroom. He drifted over briefly to crouch beside her, smiling bit at the nose and single ear that was visible. She hadn't moved, still buried under his blankets--

Will she stay there when you want to sleep?

Oh, I hope so.

How long's it been since--?

Claws, five years....

Just keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, then, if she does.

Aw, it ain't dirty.

We're too clean to be dirty, no matter what any of us is thinking.

--and he didn't want to disturb her, no matter how much he might like to touch her again. She obviously needed her rest. More importantly, he realized after a moment, was the smell of something particularly heavenly coming from the kitchen. Had Chario started dinner? --No, Chario's dragon-sized hind legs and tail were still in the doorway. Then who...?

"And if that young man's had anything resembling a decent meal since he left, I'm a human."

He knew that voice. Apparently Chaith had come by while he was getting clean.

"Nah," Chario's voice answered, sounding amused, light-hearted for the first time since he'd come home. "Too many arms."

Cacopheny stood up and sidled out of the room, trying to avoid bumping into Chario. It wound up being impossible-- the dragon was just too big to be inside-- so he tapped lightly at his thigh politely to get his attention.

Poor Chario almost smacked himself on the kitchen wall trying to look over his shoulder at him. Cacopheny smirked as he muttered, "Oh, heck," and finally shifted into his human form. He appeared to be missing a sock, probably forgetting it somewhere in the change. At least he smiled, if tiredly, and inclined his head towards the kitchen. "Chaith's warming some stew for you."

"So I ssssmell," he nodded. "Ssank you."

He was, though, still a little nervous as he passed the dragon and approached the kitchen. It was his fault Chaith's daughter was in such a state, after all, and though Chario's relief had obviously eclipsed any blame he might have had, Chaith's might not. He peeked in tentatively and said, a little nervously, "Herro, Tchaiss."

Well, that sounded lovely.

You even missed the Ls.

Oh, shut up.

His fear was for nothing. Chaith looked up from stirring at the pot and smiled gently at him, as if she'd seen him just yesterday instead of weeks or months before. "Hello, Cacopheny," she said. "Welcome home. Hungry?"

"Ssssstarfink," he admitted shyly. "Ssank you...."

"Come and sit, then, I've just got to get it nice and hot again," she said with a nod, turning back to the pot, and he obediently came inside. "And you can just eat and enjoy it, and we'll not worry about asking where you went, or any of that, until Sentio gets home to hear it too, hmm?"

Wincing a little, he had to at least say, "I'm sorrrry."

Chaith looked over again, and her gaze at least seemed to be kind. It was hard to tell, with a silent shadow and her odd eyes. "Well, perhaps you should be," she answered gently, "but you're back, you're in one piece, and Chario says my little kitten is already doing better, so there's nothing left to worry about."

"Vat essactly isss rongk?" he asked, timid in the face of undeserved kindness.

Before answering, Chaith came over with a bowl full of thick stew, which she set in front of him with the command, "Eat."

Because he hadn't eaten in at least a day, Cacopheny obeyed immediately.

She honestly expects us to pay attention to anything she has to say while there's a big, hot bowl of that in front of us? Flash asked incredulously.

Some of us are not so easily distracted by mundanities like food, Genner sniffed.

Flash was partly right, though, as it was hard to drag even part of his attention away from the rapid spoon-to-mouth when Chaith said, "Sometimes we daemons really do get 'worried sick' when we don't know what's become of someone we care about. Then it turned out Akija cared most of all."

He was too hungry to really feel sick at the confirmation of his own assumption, but there was an unpleasant feeling in his chest, anyway. He swallowed heavily and said, "So it vas me."

"Yes," Chaith answered mildly, sliding into the seat across the table from him and resting her arms on the table-top. "But you certainly didn't know it would happen, nor did the rest of us. It's a thing that doesn't happen often to our kind."

"I vood hope not," Cacopheny muttered, rubbing his forehead uncomfortably and fixing his eyes on his dinner-- or lunch. Or breakfast, even if it was well into the afternoon by now, since it was the first time he'd eaten that day. "Ketting ssssssick from vorryingk...."

"Every species has its quirks," Chaith answered, shrugging a little. "That just happens to be ours."

"I ssssss'pose...."

Wonder what demonic quirks are.

... do you really want to know?

... well, no, not really.

I don't know, I'd thought it was obvious.

That's just sick.

Staring at the stew only morosely made his stomach clench again around what he'd managed to put in it, so Cacopheny went back to eating. It took him a minute to get back to asking worriedly, "Vill she alvays ket sick? If I am not here?"

Chaith shook her head. "It wasn't you not being here," she explained. "It was not knowing if you were all right, or coming back. It's only the worry that makes one get sick."

Cacopheny frowned a bit. "I tolt her I vood be back. Reft a messazje."

There was a rustle and a thump as, somewhere behind him, Chario fell back and slid down the wall to sit, stunned, on the floor. Even Chaith looked taken off-guard. "Where?" Chario squeaked.

A little embarrassed, Cacopheny tugged at one of the matts in his hair and stared at his soup. "In ssse zhadows? Vasn't very koot, vas in a hurry, vas--"

Scared out of your wits?

You weren't even there, so don't try to act like you know anything.

What, and you know?

Well... no.

"Vas not ssinkingk ztrait. Might haff. Might haff. Done it rongk?"

"Shadows?" Chario repeated incredulously. "Shadows? --Oh, goddess. It only said 'I'm sorry'. We... we thought... it meant you were gone for good. And she held onto it and never let go...."

"Nononono," Cacopheny exclaimed, dismayed. "Vas more. Vasss'pos't to be more. Vas more. I ssought... I. Vas more." He didn't remember, now, what all he'd tried to say. But he knew he'd said more than that-- something about-- he'd come back when he could? He didn't remember.

That didn't look particularly reassuring to Chario, who now had a hand over his eyes, all but squeezing his own face. "It-- only had those two words when Akija leeched the magic out... oh, Asuka, did it break the message-spell when I asked her to do that? And then it kept creeping out of her--"

"Well, there's nothing to be done about it now," Chaith rumbled, while Cacopheny marveled at his magic "creeping out of" Akija, briefly distracted from the mess he'd made. What would that have looked like? "Even a paper letter could have gotten lost. Don't fret over it."

"I mussssst not'ff done it rright," he tried to tell Chario, chagrined. "I'm sorry."

"I half thought she was doing it herself except she never seemed to notice and--huh?" He lifted his hand to look at him, rambling interrupted. "Oh. Well, hey." Chario put on a skewed smile. "Guess it'd be out of the norm if things went easy for us for once, huh?"

Cacopheny had to smile at that one.

Tell me about it, Tiger muttered.

Cacopheny went back to bolting down as much as he could fit into his stomach while Chaith, smiling a bit, herself, stood back up again and went back to the stove, getting out another pot of some sort. "Well," she said as she started warming that one up, too, "even though it looks like things will be settling now, I'll stay here a few more days, at least until the worst of Akija's fever burns off. Even heartsickness takes a while to wear off, and she might still need me to douse her in the tub a few times before then."

For a rather uncomfortable moment, Cacopheny had to struggle not to growl at her.

Bad idea. Don't do that.

She is bigger than you.

And it's rude.

And why did you want to do that, anyway?

Swallowing the urge, and more stew, he asked meekly, "Can I help?"

Chaith looked back over her shoulder, like she was surprised, and he felt a little hurt despite himself-- stupid, stupid, since he'd just wanted to growl at her. But why would it be surprising that he'd want to help? "Hm. I don't see why not. She feels better, gets more coherent, after she's been cooled down. In fact... it'll probably do her a lot of good to see you as she's coming around."

He hoped so. "I tolt her. Ve'd rook after her now," he muttered, looking down and going back to his stew. "So I vant to help."

"It just took me a moment to think of how you could help with that," Chaith said gently. "But I'll hold her up, and you can wipe her down with the washcloth. Usually I can get her to take her soup after that, too, but I'll leave it to you to help her hold her mug, all right?" she offered, smiling again.

Looking up through the tangle of his hair, he nodded, and tried to smile, back. It felt more like a grimace, but he had tried. "All rrrrrright."

In the pause that followed, he managed another mouthful of stew, though getting it swallowed was a bit of an effort. He would not cry at the table. He wouldn't. Gone from afraid to relieved to chagrined to angry to now wanting to cry. 

Big baby.

Hey, give him a break. It's been a long day.

I wouldn't mind having a good, long cry....

"Maybe when you're done eating," Chaith suggested gently, "you should go nap with her until she wakes up. Then you can run a little lukewarm water into your bathroom tub when she does, and I'll hear it and come help you move her."

Good idea, Tek whispered to him.

He nodded, swallowed again so that he could speak, and said, "All rrright. I-- I vill, ssank you ssank you."

Though now eating seemed less appealing than crawling back to Akija. And, given Chaith's silent smile and turn back to the stove, and Chario's wandering off into the living room-- and subsequent resumption of playing with his cube-thing, from the soft clicks he heard from that direction-- he had a perfect opportunity to do. He forced down one more bite of the stew before giving up entirely and slinking out of the kitchen. Maybe he ought to have stayed, washed out the bowl for Chaith, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. Maybe she'd forgive him, this one time.

Akija hadn't moved-- not that he'd expected her to-- and he crept down to the blankets he'd wrapped her back up in, eyes burning and doing their best to rebel against what control he had left.

Room for two in there? Tiger asked, ignoring his tears.

It looked like it. He pulled the bedding back enough so that he could get under it and up against the little bundle of spindly limbs and pajamas that was Akija, then let it fall how it would as he curled around her. She seemed so small, so thin, wrapped up in his arms. Sick, for two months, wasted away to so much less. Because of him and his stupid shadows.

Hey.

Well, two stupid shadows.

Better.

Sniffing, but trying to stay quiet and not wake her, he shut his eyes and buried his face in her hair. I'm sorry, he told her sleeping shadow quietly. I'm sorry.

At least not even guilt could battle the pull of a reasonably full stomach, comfortable blankets, and warmth, for the first time in weeks, and he fell asleep before he even realized he was heading there.