Hey, Arnie. Quiet night, this time, looks like. Well, hey, I won't turn down a nice chat, if you've got nothin' better to do. My usual, wouldja? Thanks.

Gods, I'm tired. Why? Let me tell you why: Igess grew up. You remember Igess, right? I made the mistake of bringing him here once. Nearly trashed the place-- ah, you remember. Yeah, he's really an it, but it sounds too weird, so I gave up on calling him "it" and he's just a "he".

Well, yeah, anyway. He grew up. Last night.

What? He did! Literally overnight, too. You remember what he looked like, right? Kinda snakelike, with two arms? Well, he holed himself up in one little corner of the apartment, refused to come out all day yesterday, and when I woke up this morning he was huge-- well, actually, the whole thing was what woke me up. Apparently growing up that fast is kinda painful. Burst his old carapice, grew himself a new one, all that-- and now he's fucking eight and a half feet tall.

Yeah. And you wondered why I'm tired. It freaked us all out, let me tell you. Nekeress was screaming up a storm, furious that he was suddenly bigger than her. Oh, she's grown some, but not eight feet. Kalaia was over trying to coddle Igess, but he wasn't having any of it, kind of freaked, himself, I guess. And then there's me, trying to calm everybody down and keep calm, myself, since with Igess panicking and Nekeress furious and even a little scared, herself, my head was feeling a little crowded and more than a little confused, y'know? I'm just glad I didn't have work that day.

So we take a while to just settle down and figure out what exactly happened, right? And feed Igess, since as soon as he's done being panicked, he switches immediately to starving. And then feed Nekeress, since you can't feed one without the other deciding she needs attention, too. And since by then me and Kalaia were starving, too, we made our own breakfast and tried to think of how the hell we were gonna get Igess out the front door.

Staying in our tiny apartment simply wasn't going to work, and with two dragons to feed, three whenever Kalaia manages to bond one, there's not a lot we can really afford, on my salary, new dragoner discounts or not. I mean, really, cops don't make much, and I'm only a rookie, for all the Minister likes me, so I'm at the bottom of the pay-scale. And I'm not really a new dragoner so much anymore, since Igess is grown up and I'm nervous that Nekeress will do the same thing when it's time for her to "grow up". Age overnight like that, I mean. They're the same species, after all. Sort of. Though Nekeress won't admit it.

Well, we had to leave Igess there while we went apartment hunting. Poor thing, he was wailing at me the whole time, in the back of my head, but trying to squeeze him out the door more than once wasn't something I wanted to try. Gods and Royals, I've been on my feet all day, tramping around this gods-forsaken place looking at dragoner apartments. Kalaia stayed home to keep Igess company, which meant I had to keep Nekeress with me, and I had to keep the little monster in line. That's what was so tiring, see, on top of a stressful morning.

What? No, we haven't had any luck yet. There's plenty of nice places out there, but nothing I can afford. I'm starting to wish I'd taken the station up on their offer of special housing until the monsters grew up, but it didn't seem like we'd need it, at the time, not any time soon. Igess, uh, "grew up" a lot faster than I expected.

Whoah, shit, what-- oh, my phone. Dammit, it's only been a month on the job, I'm still not used to carrying this thing. Hold on, Arnie.

Hello? Oh, Minister, hi. Tired, you? What? Oh, sorry, had the phone off while I was out today, I, uh, didn't figure you'd be calling. Sorry 'bout that, won't do it again, promise. 

So what's up? --No shit, they did, too? So'd Igess! Well, you probably knew that, but still. You know. But yeah, all of a sudden, you know, over night! Oh, man, it'll be a lot worse for you, won't it, you've got three of those buggers, in that cramped little apartment of yours. I don't know how you did it with them small, it musta been awful when they all-- yeah.

So where are you now? You got a new place? Already? You're kiddin' me. I couldn't find a single apartment we could afford-- well, sir, you do make a hell of a lot more than I do. Getting a place isn't near so hard on your salary, compared to mine, and dragoner apartments are more expensive than the run-down I'm in now. Especially if, gods, if you need a double-suite for the dragons-- as if Nekeress would let Igess share her bed!

What? No way, you're kiddin' me. You're kiddin' me, right? You're not? Gods and Royals, sir, you're too kind. Way too kind. When? Gods, I owe you, sir, I so owe you. Yeah, well, you would say that, I still owe you, anyway. We can meet when? Sir, as soon as possible, Igess is feeling awful cramped, and Nekeress is feeling ready to flay him for daring to take up so much room. I'm not home, sir, I stepped out-- of course, sir, I'll be there immediately. Thank you. Thank you so much. See you soon.

Well, talk about your good fortune! That was the Gavin Vance, yes, the one Igess double-bonded to. Yes, my boss. Yes, the Minister of Security. I told you hundreds of times, Arnie, that I know the guy, stop lookin' so shocked. He's a great guy, really.

Anyway, he just invited me and the gang to stay with him until we can save up for a place of our own. Royals must be smilin' on me, tonight, man! I gotta go, Arnie, supposed to meet him at his new place, work out what we're gonna do. See you another night! Thanks for the chat!

Chapter Five

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